Final Test

It was hard to know what was going to happen. I wasn’t in a cell like the others but I might as well be. When I heard the lock of my room click I would sit up, I kept my eyes on the floor and my expression blank. I was just another pet, another project, another number but my father always dealt with me personally. Sometimes I wondered: ‘does anyone know I exist?’ The answer was most likely no. No one knew I was there and no one was coming to save me. I could only pray for death and that would only happen by accident. My father wouldn’t let me go so easily, not anymore. “Stand up.” I always followed his instructions, my eyes trained on the floor. I tried to use my hair as a curtain, something to hide behind but the long dark locks were pushed aside as the scientist began to check my scars. I don’t know how many I had now. I don’t think you could see most of them, my father did his work to well for that and yet he’s operated on me so many times before. Today was supposed to be my birthday. He knew that, my age was recorded in his precious data. The data he kept inside of my head. Sometimes it was difficult. I didn’t know how to separate my own thoughts from those implanted into me. I ended up making files, treating myself like I was a computer. I felt pain, if you pricked me, I bled but I don’t know if I can feel anything anymore. I learned that there would always be worse tortures. I was lead from the room and then stepped down the familiar halls I’ve come to know. I knew this whole place. I had the map but that didn’t mean I could escape. I don’t remember ever trying to escape. This is how it is. They took me to a small medical room. This one was new. It instantly sent a shiver creeping through my back. New meant a new test though my father didn’t have that sort of jittery twitch he did when he was testing something new. I was directed towards the table in the center, I was able to see a large glass panel towards the top of the room. There were a few people there, most of whom I only had files for; no one important. I stepped up to the table and lay down. The pale blue of my clothes stood out against the gray’s and whites of the room. I could hear the sounds of those around me getting into position. Metal scratching on metal as they rolled their gear into place. The lights overhead were too bright to see and with another adjustment I was completely blinded. I felt someone tug at my wrists and ankles. It was a precaution and one I was used too. "Is she secure?" A voice echoed nearby. A thin voice answered. "Yes." That voice again. "Let's begin." It was my father. I'm used to being awake during this part but what happened next surprised me. A sharp needle sank into my arm injecting something cold into me. The injection sight hurt and itched, I struggled against my bounds keeping my eyes closed as the burning sensation seeped through my body. I wanted to scream but my voice was lost as the sensation crept up my neck. I remembered when the feeling hit my heart, it shuttered under the pressure but then kept going. As the initial shock faded my heart began to beat wildly. I felt sweat breaking out over my skin, the sticky uncomfortable feeling and whatever was injected into me took hold. The light burned and I could hear my own hear monitor as my heart beat began to grown unstable. I don't know how much time had passed. It was probably days, my throat felt so dry and the fever wasn’t abating. The feel took over suddenly, my body’s final defense against whatever it was my father did. It burned like every nerve ending had been grated raw and then set on fire. A scream tore from my throat despite my best efforts to remain calm. It felt like something was eating away at me, stealing what little of myself I still had left. Every moment of it was clear as day and it never lessened as if those nerve endings were stripped only to be healed and stripped again. The sensation was overwhelming and even looking back on it; I wouldn’t be able to describe it. I felt my heart slowing only to frantically speed up once more latching onto the slimmest chance for life. I didn't know how long it would last but after seconds it felt endless. The heart monitor rang like music over the room. Those watching held their breath as if reaching the climax of their show. I heard my heart stop but I wasn't dead, my thoughts were racing and I began to count. It lasted 37 seconds. My cries softened and I almost smiled at the sound. 'Please, let me die.' The doctors worked frantically to get my heart beating again and after a shock the steady beat was back, stronger than before. I would have cried but I’d forgotten how. I only knew that the test was a success because I was alive. Everything hurt and as the hour struck seven I got very sleepy. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. The burning light was the last thing I remembered before waking up back in my room.

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